Why bother to explain the 3 phases at the basis of the mentor-student relationship?
The figure of the mentor was already present in Ancient Greece when it was imitated by Athena, goddess of wisdom, who guided and protected Odysseus during his journey.
The figure of the mentor is somewhat different from that of the teacher because he has no formal, “technical” role, but rather a trusted advisor, a guide who is both authoritative and protective, capable of guiding you, stimulating your resources and accompanying you in your studies or your personal growth path.
The mentor is not a God, he is not a guru to whom one confides blindly and to whom one obeys without “ifs” and “buts. He is simply a wise guide who has become one through the study he has dedicated himself to, the experiences he has had, the inner resources he has been able to develop, the changes he has made in his life, his capacity for intuition and insight, and his ability to help others with love and wisdom.
The Mentor is a person who is at a higher level of growth and evolution than you are, not because he is a God come down to earth, but because he has already taken those steps that you still have to take, because he has already made those experiences that you still have to make, because he has already understood things that you still have to understand and, therefore, he is able to illuminate your path.
It is important that you realize that the Mentor is simply a wise guide and not a guru or a God you can blindly trust. This is important because we have seen so many people who have totally trusted the Guru of the moment, exalted him, even named him “Savior, Source or New Prophet”, went into debt to be in contact with him, made risky choices motivated by the exaltation of the moment… and then, when he “disappears”, find themselves lost, distrustful and without their own direction to follow.
True mentors are not addictive, they are independent!
The true mentor is the one who is able to transmit so many teachings to you even if he doesn’t explain them to you, because he is able to transmit them indirectly, by his presence and example. He can do this because he has lived the experiences and teachings he talks about on his own skin and, therefore, he is a person you can shape!
The 3 phases characterizing the mentor-student relationship:
- INITIATION: This is the stage where you meet your Mentor that opens you to a new world, a new knowledge, a new way of seeing things, a new beginning.
- RECIPROCAL GROWTH: This is the stage in which you and your Mentor grow together, him through the teachings he passes on to you and the responsibility to guide you on your path, learning from you and putting his teachings into practice.
- SEPARATION: is the phase in which your mentor has finished giving you the teachings and tools you need to pursue your growth path with absolute freedom and autonomy.
The third phase is the most important and is the one that guarantees the success of the mentor-student relationship.
When one of our students completes his personal growth path at our school and leaves, we are immensely happy because we know that we have given him all the knowledge and tools he needed, that we have helped to broaden his perspective, strengthen his motivation, his clear vision of his mission, his goals and the strategies he needs to live the life he wants and enjoy his success!
We are even happier when, even after a long time, we receive his messages or calls, in which he thanks us, shares his successes and all that he has finally managed to get rid of!
Only freedom and autonomy are the determining factors of success and are the criteria to be taken into consideration to understand if your mentor is really a guide for you or a person who makes you dependent on him, to satisfy his interests.
Until you become autonomous and complete, the wise men you will meet on your path will never be true mentors for you but only people you will adore in the initiation phase and hate in the separation phase, in an endless circle.